Today as I placed an order at my favorite coffee shop hidden deep within the city, my barista was talking to a co-worker about his band and how they were beginning to go their separate ways. "We just don't see eye to eye creatively anymore" he said. "where they want to go and where I want to go are two very different places, and even though they're my best friends, I have to follow my heart. I just have to."
His co-worker nodded and gave him words of sympathy, understanding, and encouragement while I stood at the coffee bar staring at the different varieties of artificial sugar, trying to pretend like the choice between Splenda and Equal was a tough one and trying even harder to pretend that I wasn't eavesdropping on the conversation. And as I began to feel sorry for the poor barista who seemed visibly upset by the break up, my mind wandered to something a dear friend said to me last week.
"Don't ever be satisfied" he said. "That way life will always get better".
At the time, his words took my breath. And as powerful as they were then, I didn't realize how much I would think about his statement and how many different ways I would apply this concept to my life, to other's lives in the days after and even now. For the past week the words have been marinating in my mind, simmering to the perfect temperature, and though I think it will take an eternity or at least a life well lived before I can totally grasp their meaning, I believe that I can finally apply this idea to my present day life.
Satisfaction is a funny thing, in that it is defined as the fulfillment of one's needs or wants. After staring at this definition in Webster's online dictionary for a good thirty minutes, it clicked. Life will always get better if I never allow myself to be fully satisfied. If I never allow myself to want and need things that are easily attainable and if I keep striving for new and great things. And though this is a hard thing to do, it is possible because of the sole fact that my needs and wants are always changing.
In elementary school, I thought I would be satisfied with the latest Barbie doll, that is until a newer, way hotter and inevitably skinnier one came out a month later. In middle school, I thought satisfaction would come when I got contacts to replace my glasses, which were unfortunately immediately followed by a full set of braces and headgear, shattering my self-esteem and my chances of finally taking a decently normal year book picture. In high school, I thought I could achieve satisfaction if I dated, or more importantly was "seen" with an older, more-experienced, and popular athlete, until he left me high and dry for a girl his own age, who could legally drive, amongst other things. Satisfaction in college consisted of having good friends, good beers, and a dirty house on the beach. Plain and simple. And though my needs were fulfilled in college, looking back, my wants for myself were far from attained, if even recognized.
I guess that is the beauty of coming across this new way of looking at life in this moment. As I think back through the years and the many different things it took to make me happy during each phase of my life, I can see that as I changed, so did my wants and needs. Now, as I am much older and hopefully wiser, this idea of not achieving satisfaction makes so much more sense. As I look forward on my life, I have no idea where I will end up, who I will end up with and what will end up ultimately making me happy. And though I am okay with the unknown, I am certain of the fact that from here on out, I will still strive for satisfaction and fulfillment, yet I will always keep them out of my reach, setting new goals for myself, new adventures, and creating new ways of thinking. That way things will only continue to get better. Life will always get better.
And when he said with sadness in his voice, "tall, non-fat, extra hot latte" and I could finally make Splenda my artificial sugar of choice, I turned and smiled at the barista. Because though he may be leaving his friends and his band, and though he might be scared of the future and the unknown, at least he is taking the risk, striving for more and not allowing himself to be satisfied with something that isn't right anymore. While pondering this thought and walking to a table in the corner, something in my cup caught my eye. As I turned around and stared at the barista not knowing whether to cry or laugh, he said with a smile "Have a good day". And for me, his smile was enough. Enough to ignore the fact that he had so skillfully created a perfectly, terrifying skull in the foam of my extra- hot latte. "Life is always getting better" I thought to myself as I headed to my nook in the corner, laughing all the way.
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