Rock of Love.

On a recent drive from the East-side to the West-side of the state, Darcy and I stopped to stretch our legs at Vantage, a popular viewpoint along on the Columbia River in central Washington. "Come onnn" Darcy yelled as she blazed her own trail over small boulders and through patches of yellow weeds trying to get as close to the cliffs edge as possible. She had just gotten a new camera with a special fish-eye lens and couldn't wait to capture the river, the rolling hills in the background, and the late afternoon sun that when combined, made for the perfect shot.

"You go ahead" I whispered back, trying to muster up enough energy for my tired legs to take me even ten feet from the car. It had been a long weekend at home, one of those that just wipes you completely of everything. My voice was gone, my entire body was sore, and my normally large eyes were nothing but tiny slits desperately straining to remain open as I was the co-pilot and the only other passenger in the car. As Darcy ventured off to get her shot, I drug my feet through the dust and kicked a few rocks around, stretching my arms and legs wondering when I would ever feel normal again. I was seriously contemplating what I would have to do to get my hands on an IV of Gatorade when I came across a large rock that caught my eye. There, in white bubble letters were the words "Wade & Heidi 2009".

As I stood there staring at these simple words, ignoring the unbelievably gorgeous view directly in front of me, I was taken back to the summer of 2007 and a part of my life that now seems worlds and worlds away.

It was a hot summer day in the park. We were hand in hand, walking through the rose gardens licking ice cream cones that were quickly melting down our other hands. As we sat on a bench finishing the last of our cool treats, he looked from me to a nearby pine tree. Pulling out the mini pocket-knife that he always carried in case of minor emergencies (which usually always resulted from my clumsiness) he said eagerly, "Should we?"

"Absolutely" was my response and a minute later he was carving our initials inside a perfectly symmetrical heart on the side of the mighty tree. Twenty minutes later, he was still working away, chipping at the bark, and wishing out loud for a larger knife. Almost as if on cue, an old man passed by us. Walking at a slow pace, he looked up and smiled when he realized what was happening. "Do you two perhaps need a little help?" he said as he pulled a bigger and much sharper knife from the depths of his pocket. Wanting to accomplish this feat on his own, my boyfriend at the time kept carving away with his own tool, only to give in five minutes later and accept help from the old man who occupied the bench next to us, taking a front row seat to our little show.

"You know this means forever right?" he said quietly as the heart was nearing its finish a few minutes later. As I whirled around, startled by his bold statement and scared as the implications of this very public yet somewhat intimate display of our young love started to sink in, the wise old man smiled at the two of us, so naive and so clearly inexperienced in the game of love and he repeated "This marking will be here for years to come. It will weather the rain, the sun, the snow, it will stand the test of time. It will be forever."

Two summers later I found myself in a new city, living a much different life when a text came through to my phone. I lost my breath for a second as I opened it only to find a picture of that old pine tree and the perfectly crafted heart with our initials carved on the inside. The caption read "It's still here". And though our breakup had been a difficult one after two years of long distance and the tough final realization that our love would not survive, and though I was dating someone new at the time, I couldn't help but be taken back to that summer afternoon in the park. My thoughts drifted to the old man, to a simpler life, and to forever.

Since that summer, I have come to realize that forever is quite a long time. My nineteen-year-old self would have been quick to say that our love then could survive any storm and last any test of time. Now four years wiser, I still can't grasp the concept fully, but I do know that forever is so much more complicated than I once thought it was.

"Ready to go?" Darcy asked as I snapped back into reality and found her standing next to me. "I guess" I said slowly, dreading the second half of the car ride. As I turned and stared at the rock one last time I wondered what Wade and Heidi were doing at that exact moment. I wondered if their love had survived 2009 and if it continues to grow stronger in 2010. I also found myself questioning whether anyone has spotted our heart in the park and wondered about our love and whether it lasted.

As we continued the drive, I thought about the rock and the couple, and as we crossed the mighty Columbia River I couldn't help but wish for a few things. I wished years of happiness for Wade and Heidi. I wished them a beautiful house full of beautiful children and a beautiful life together. I wished them forever. And as the sun began to set, casting its golden rays across the road before us, I wished for myself. I selfishly wished that the next time I carve my name beside another's on an old pine tree or write it somewhere on a rock, that it really will weather the rain, the sun, the snow, that it will stand the test of time, and most of all, that it will be truly mean forever.