Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Growing Pains.




If you go to college out of state, more often then not, you are fortunate to be able to meet people and make friends from all over the country. You learn about their traditions, their homes, their way of seeing the world. You become close, adopting each others mannerisms, taking on each others accents, and appreciating each others differences. Unfortunately, when you graduate after four years, those people that have become your closest friends, your family, either move back to where they came from or spread their wings even further heading to far away cities and completely different time zones. A year out of college now, I find myself so very far away from the people that I loved most during those four years of my life. Not only do entire states, multiple hour time differences, and the high price of flights keep us apart, but exhausting jobs, different friends and our new lives make keeping in touch a huge obstacle to overcome daily. The more time that passes in between each phone call and catch up session means the longer the conversation when it does happen and finding time for those calls become harder with each passing day.

This reason alone is why reunions and weekend getaways are so important and in fact down right necessary when it comes to maintaining friendships after college. That being said, instead of raging on in Idaho as I have done for the past twenty some years of my life, I found myself in Washington this Fourth of July, sharing my favorite of the fifty states with four of my best friends from college who flew into town for Madison's birthday and a long and much needed weekend together at her cabin in Lake Chelan.
As we made the three hour trek from the city to paradise all crammed in one car, the six of us couldn't help but comment on how easy it was to slip into our old ways, how comfortable we all still feel with each other, and how it felt as if no time had passed at all since our last reunion which was over six months ago.

Later that night as we sat on blankets in the grass at one of the most beautiful wineries I have ever seen, with the lake as a backdrop, listening to a Irish rock band of sorts, I couldn't help but look at my five friends and find myself deep in thought. Although we spent four years growing together on the beaches of San Diego, we have spent the past year away from each other growing apart. And as I thought about this a little bit more, I realized that the six of us really could not be at more different stages in life right now. Some with career successes under their belt already, others still wanderlusting searching for the right job that will bring the perfect happiness. One with graduate school abroad in the next few months, and another taking a year off for more time and soul searching before taking the plunge into law school. Some in serious relationships, making things work across their cities or even across the country, and others (like myself) single and restless with no signs of settling down any time soon. We are all so different and though it is hard to watch each other go through some of life's greatest and hardest moments from afar, it is comforting to know that we can still relate to each other, still enjoy each other's company and still appreciate each other for our differences, which seem to grow greater by the day.

Those differences seemed to fade away however, as our weekend together progressed. We danced, we sang, we laughed, we cried, we drank, we ate, and we just were, together. Reliving our college glory days spent on the beach in California, this time as young professionals on a lake in Washington. We celebrated Madison's birthday and our reunion with one too many body shots and a few too many bottles of red wine, proving that even though we hold 9 to 5 jobs, we still have the stamina to go out four nights in a row, take over an entire bar, and get everyone within a mile radius to join in a catwalk on the dance floor. We may have been obnoxious, we may have been loud, but we couldn't help it. It's not every day I have my best friends from college in the same room, let alone state, and taking advantage of that fact was a must to say the least.
Throughout the weekend I was reminded of why we were all so close in college, why we did life together and why we will continue to do so for years to come. By the time we left Chelan, it was hard to remember where one of us ended and the next one began. We had so effortlessly grown together over the weekend and the thought of separation and growing apart again was almost as devastating as parting ways for the first time after graduation.
Saying goodbye at the end of the trip was like saying goodbye to a piece of myself. As I watched the last of the girls walk through the airport doors and as I headed back to work, to my reality, to my life, I couldn't help but wish I had them every weekend. And though there were many red wine toasts to memories of the past, hopes for the future, and more importantly, promises of frequent reunions, I still felt as though there was a gaping hole in my heart.

A week later I find myself at the coffee shop, back in my routine, growing in my own way, in my own city. As I sit here, I think of the girls, in California, in DC, in Texas and those in other states and countries even who couldn't make it to the weekend away. I wonder what they are doing, if they are laughing at the moment, if they know how much I love them and how incredible I think each of them are. I check my watch and calculate to East coast time, wondering if it's too late to send a witty text or one last funny joke from the weekend. Then I check my calendar and count the weeks until our next reunion, our next chance catch up and our next chance to grow back together.

No comments:

Post a Comment